Relationships are one of the most important aspects in our life, with marriage being the ultimate commitment to one another. Most of us want a lifelong partner who we can share everything with, support each other, get through the tough times and enjoy the good.
When we marry our husband or wife, we expect to spend the rest of our lives with them and cannot imagine anything getting in the way or influencing our love for each other. However, while many marriages last a lifetime, some do not. Studies show that nearly half of all marriages break down.
Whilst these are shocking statistics, the general consensus of researchers is that if most couples knew how and when their marriage is falling apart, they could learn to communicate again perhaps with professional support, therefore making the divorce rate much lower.
“Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt in Cannes” (CC BY 2.0) by Filmstiftung
The ‘Brangelina’ Breakdown…
Recent news has told us that Angelina Jolie has filed to divorce Brad Pitt for ‘irreconcilable differences’ which suggests there are a few reasons as to why she is not happy. The rumours say that Angelina questions Brad’s parenting skills and claims that she can no longer live with his behavior and alledged substance abuse. In other news stories, reporters are suggesting that Brad has got too close to his co-actress in Allied, Marion Cotillard, claiming that he is a cheat. It appears there is a whole mix of reasons as to why their marriage has broken down and perhaps it isn’t repairable.
Why do Marriages Break Down?
It seems that the four main reasons for marriages breaking down are:
- ADULTERY: A partner within the marriage enters another relationship. Affairs and getting emotionally involved with another person outside of the marriage damages trust and is a legitimate reason for divorce. Sometimes a couple can get through this and just because someone has been a cheat, does not necessarily mean that they will do it again.
- COMMUNICATION: Over the years, communication can easily break down in a marriage. Giving emotional support during difficult circumstances is especially important, finding time to talk about worries and concerns means that you have an understanding and will therefore find it easier to communicate.
- LYING: Lying seems to be one of the biggest reasons for why a marriage breaks down. Not telling the truth about money, your whereabouts or anything else may seem like a small thing to the liar, but damages the trust from the other person. Fear of confrontation is often the reason why people lie, so learning to communicate will increase trust in talking openly.
- AB– USE: Any type of abuse is considered incredibly destructive to any relationship, whether it’s emotional, verbal, physical or psychological. Unfortunately, most abuse is down to one person trying to control the other, and unless they seek professional help from a counsellor or psychologist, it is likely to continue.
“sabine_mondestin_4” (CC BY 2.0) by Sabine Mondestin
How to Get Over a Marriage Breakdown
Deciding that your marriage is not salvageable is not only sad, but extremely stressful. You are going through the emotional torment of losing someone you love or once loved and you may feel like you need to almost restart your adult life when it comes to practical matters. Get all the support you can from family and friends, make sure you get out and be sociable and do not put unnecessary pressure on yourself. The best advice anyone can have is – to take one day at a time. Soon, you will embrace an exciting new life.
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